Kusu Isand trip

We went Kusu Island for a picnic and swim at the lagoon with my sister-in-law’s family. There are altogether 9 of us. It was just a 20 mins ferry ride from Marina South Pier but it was quite bumpy on the ferry. It was quite cloudy and windy today. However, we got sunburn too.

We reached there at about 10.20am. We passed by the temple which was near the jetty and made our wish at the wishing well. Hope that all our wish comes through next year (with action on our part) because a wish is just a vision. And I’ll like to quote what Joel Barker said “Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is simply passing the time. Action with Vision is making a positive difference.” Further down the path, there was a tortoise wishing well with many tortoises in it. As it was a weekday, we had the lagoon all by ourselves. We had a good splash in the water although the water is quite dirty and something underneath it kept poking us and we felt a sharp pain on our body, thigh, leg or hand. It was so painful that Joyce refused to go back into the water again. But the rest of us were in the water for a few hours. We enjoyed the wave pushing us from behind our back to the shore. They also played with the sand, buried themselves under the sand with others’ help and took turn to fly kite as I only have one. We had hard boiled eggs, chicken nuggets, breads, fruit (apple & cucumber) and juice for our lunch. Joyce and Ivan liked munching the potatoes chips very much.

We left Kusu Island at 2.45pm so that we could get a glimpse of St John Island before heading back home. However, we were quite disappointed as we only had 10 mins stop at St John Island. Then we were ferried back to Kusu Island to pick up other passengers because 3.45pm was the timing of the last ferry back from Kusu on weekdays.

Nevertheless, we had a great time having fun together especially for the children and they wanted to go again next year.

X’mas log cake and cookies making workshop on 22 Dec 07

We attended X’mas log cake and cookies making workshop at Cheng San CC on Saturday morning instead of our usual Saturday morning activity at the park with my parents and youngest sister. It was organised by a church group and the response was overwhelming. There were 30 over children at the workshop so each child got to make about 6 cookies. They helped to cut the cookies using the different cookies cutters and also decorate them. It was fun for the children. They also learned to be patient as they took turn to make theirs and wait for the cookies to be baked. Joyce also enjoyed watching and making the cookies.

Adults watched the X’mas log cake making demo while the children made their cookies. We were also given the recipes and had a taste of the baked log cake and cookies too. Yummy! Joyce finds it easy and requested that we make the cookies back home so that she can share with her friends at the childcare. Excellent! Joyce. And for your kind thought and sharing, we will make them one of these days. Yes! Maybe we can make them for Chinese New Year.

We sang Christmas carols towards the end of the workshop and also learned about the meaning of Christmas and the Christmas candy stick. As for us, Christmas is about family gathering. Usually, we will get together at one of my brother-in-law’s place for a dinner-cum-party on Christmas’ eve.

Shopping trip

Yesterday, we went OG for shopping. It was very crowded and we came back empty handed. It was the 1st time that we did not go over to the toys' department and Joyce also did not request that we buy her the Disney princess dress or something.

All this while, I have been telling her that it is not necessary that we must buy something whenever we go shopping. But she would be quite unhappy if we buy nothing although she would not make a scene at the departmental store unlike some kids. Maybe those kids were not prepared mentally by their parents before their shopping spree.

However, it was totally different yesterday. I was really surprised that she was alright when we came back empty handed. I believe that my message has finally sunk into her head. I notice that she is also more sensible nowadays. Keep it up, Joyce! You are such a wonderful girl now. Mummy will reward you 3 more red beans tonight as a form of encouragement.

Tree Top walk

We went for tree top walk this morning with my brother-in-law’s family. The weather was excellent this morning, cooling and not raining. It was a good opportunity for Joyce to interact with her cousins. Despite being the only child, I’m pleased that she is able to share, socialize and take care of kids younger than her.

After about 45 mins walk from the carpark at Venus Drive, we reached the entrance of the TreeTop Walk and started our walk on a free-standing suspension bridge of 25m above the ground. Apparently, the bridge was very stable and the kids were not afraid of the height. Very soon we were down on the ground and took the safer trail route back to the carpark instead of by the road side. Along the trail, we saw moths, grasshoppers, beetles and giant ants. Joyce finds it fun as it was the first time that she was so close to nature. A wonderful family outing that you can do with your children in Singapore without incurring any cost.

Bonding with your children

I have heard many times from mums with domestic maid’s help that their children are closer to the maid than to them and they don’t feel good about it. Which is also why the children will feel lost or upset when you change maid? How then can we create and improve our bond with our children when the maid is spending more time with our children than us, working parents?

I, personally, prefer to take care of my girl than to care of her to a maid which is why I don’t hire one. As for those working parents who require maid’s help, you can still create and improve the bond with your child by taking care of their daily needs personally. Just few days back, I have just learned from a child psychologist that we can create the opportunity to bond with our child. For instance, in feeding your young child, you can ask your maid to prepare the meals but you feed your child personally. As for bathing, you can also ask your maid to help get ready all the necessary items but you bathe your child personally. Likewise, you can also ask your maid to help get your child ready for school but you send your child to childcare centre or see him off to school personally. Like accompanying him downstairs to wait for the school bus together and seeing him off personally. When your child sees that you are the one helping him, he will feel that you are more important than your maid and you mean more to him.

Hope that the above sharing is helpful to all mums who have maid’s or grandparents’ help in taking care of their children. Happy parenting and bonding with your children!

Pros & Cons of Blogging

Your child may already have their blog as anyone can publish an online diary or journal with no programming skills/knowledge through blog. Even if he or she does not have one now, they are likely to encounter or start one in the near future. It is so common to do blogging nowadays as it is an avenue for people to express personal opinions, share experiences and information. It is good for learning, collaboration, building virtual communities and encourages creativity and active participation especially for people who are shy in public speaking. They can put across their thoughts and messages through writing privately.

However, it is also dangerous for young children/people who unknowingly publish their personal details and draw the attention of those who seek to exploit children and young people. Hence, it is important to educate our young ones not to disclose personal information such as name, phone no, address, school name, etc on their blogs. Also do not give out information about daily routines, friends, favourite hangouts, interests and social activities. Strangers can pretend to share similar interests to get close or earn trust before exploiting.

It is also critical for young people to publish appropriate content as provocative remarks or comments may invite legal issues. Posting provocative photos or videos of themselves now may also become liabilities years later.

Last but not least, happy blogging with your child. It can be a good platform to connect with your child, especially with teenagers.

Champion mindset

It was raining cats and dogs this morning. However, it did not dampen Joyce’s mood to go for the art colouring contest at UE Square. Joyce took about an hour plus to complete her colouring of the A3 size Santa Claus picture. Half-way through, she complained of tiredness and wanted me to help her complete the colouring. But I said “no” and explained to her that if she wants to win the prize then she must complete it herself. I also told her that she can’t do things half-way or else there won’t be another time for her to participate. She has to show her commitment. Reluctantly, she completed it and handed it up proudly. Thereafter, she also did a sand art which she enjoyed.

However, she was sad that she did not win any prize and said that it was not fun when asked how’s her day? She still complained that the A3 size picture was too much for her to colour. I consoled her by telling her that it’s ok not to win this time round and to do it better next time. What is important is to cultivate a champion mindset in her.

Moulding and Painting

Joyce skipped childcare today and is at home because of her flu. We spend our time reading “Alice, the fairy” storybook, practice her Yahama music and do craft work.

Finally, she has the chance to open the plaster fridge magnets & badges moulding & painting kit which Helena gave her few weeks ago. I helped her mix and mould the magnet fairies in the morning and she painted 2 of them after lunch. It was wonderful to see her concentrate, observe the fine details and work towards the finished product. She also sings while she paints, enjoying every moment of it. Excellent job! Joyce. It is quick and easy to do with the easy-to-dry plaster powder and fully supplied colours & paint brush in the kit. She also made a 'cake' for her daddy because she loves him. So sweet of you! Joyce.

School outing to “Nothing but the tooth@Health Zone” on 29.11.07

This is one of the ways to get Joyce to express herself through blogging.

Joyce says: Today, my teacher brings us to “Nothing but the tooth@Health Zone”. It is very fun because there are puppet show & fun games (the squirrel is very funny. His name is Suki.) I like to go there because I can play at the indoor playground with my best friend, Chong Xin Hui. I be the ‘mummy’ and she be the ‘mei mei’. I like her very much. I also play matching cards game and win a magnet prize.

Short getaway at Downtown East

We had a great time last 2 days at Downtown East with my sister-in-law’s family and my mother-in-law. It was also Joyce’s 1st unforgettable experience at the Escape Theme Park. Her daddy couldn’t join us due to work commitment. But he could see Joyce’s thrills when she recounted her encounter to him when she first saw him back home.

How she enjoyed the flying rides on the Kite Flyer and the Red Baron plane? The former was her 1st off the air attempt and she was actually very fearful once the ride took off. She has motion sickness since young and can vomit even just in a taxi ride. Hence, once she got lifted up and swing in the air, her immediate response was “Mummy, I’m going to vomit.” I quickly calmed her down by asking her to look far and close her eyes if she is frightened. She managed to overcome her fear and halfway through her ride, she shouted out that she is now flying and I was relieved. She enjoyed it so much that she went for a 2nd swing happily with Janice subsequently.

We also enjoyed our joy ride on the Choo Choo train and Ferris Wheel and our thrill ride on the Family Roller Coaster. She related to her daddy how we got drenched when the family of 3 splashed us on the Bumper Boat and how mummy fought back bravely at them.

She also shared about her scary experience at the Haunted House- headless bloody body, the electrocuted man on the electric chair, ghostly figures, etc. We got frightened by our own reflections on the mirror near the entrance when the guide shone his torch light on it that we screamed our lung out. There were also other children screaming away when they got out of the haunted house.

But she did not talk much about her frightening experience on the Wet & Wild Flume Ride. I think it is just too much for a 5-yr-old girl to take it especially is her 1st attempt on all these thrilling rides. Luckily, we could stop and get out halfway before we reached the 5-storey climb (Can't imagine her stress and fear if we will to plurge down). I managed to signal to the lady-in-charge when Joyce started crying to get out after we were dropped down from the 1st slide and splashed out.

Nevertheless, it was a memorable trip for Joyce. When she woke up this morning, I asked if she had any nightmare and if she still wants to go again. She said no nightmare but a firm “Yes” for the latter.

Creativity and self-esteem

One day, I showed Joyce my birthday card (see 1st photo) made by my colleague who is very creative in arts & craft work. Immediately, she asked who gave me that card and that she wanted to learn from her. Hence, we ended up at my colleague’s place on 8.11.07.

Under Helena's guidance, Joyce made 1 clay magnet, 1 clay brooch & 2 cards (see 2nd photo) that afternoon. She was happy and motivated that she started making cards after that day. We sat down together and started punching butterflies and bears on coloured papers & old magazines. Eventually, she made 2 cards for her childcare teachers and 1 birthday card (see 3rd photo) for her friend, Jamie, who has invited her to her birthday party this Saturday. I can see the big satisfaction on her face and her eagerness to do more. Moreover, she was more confident and said “I can”, “I know how to draw, do, etc” more often nowadays.

Thus, I believe that we can boost a child’s confidence through creativity. Studies have also shown that high self-esteem children are less conformist and more creative, and that highly creative children are likely to have a high level of self-esteem. By encouraging and supporting our children’s creativity, we not only make them feel better about themselves but also improve their chances of success. And success builds success because children who succeed in one area believe they can succeed in others.

We can start with simple tasks that are within the child’s ability to help her feel good about herself and do not push her too quickly. If she finds a task too difficult, simplify it so she can succeed. Otherwise, she may lose interest if she finds it too daunting and feel demoralized. Having said that, we must have confidence in our child so that they are more willing to try, press on and see the task through.

Nobody can be creative for somebody. It must come from her heart, not yours. Hence, demonstrate creativity rather than impose it. Creativity needs freedom and structure so allow your child to experience both. Imagination is only 1 component of creativity. Creativity is about structure, imagination and experience. Imagination with structure is creativity and the latter can be learned so is creativity……..

Quality time, special moments & memories

I got back to work part-time when she turned 18 months and entrust her in a childcare centre. For the first 2 months, it pained me whenever I dropped her in the childcare centre every morning as she would start crying. The initial phase was hard as she has to adapt to the new environment and also fell sick very often. My colleagues who had gone through the same phase would console me that it was alright and that she would get used to it soon.

After work, I would rush home. Fixed dinner, fetched her and gave full attention to her. I try to make full use of the moments I have with Joyce and make her special. I’ll ask her if she is happy today and what are the fun things that have happened in the childcare centre? She would usually open up and I’d learned about her day, her thoughts and feelings and impart moral values of sharing, kindness, forgive and forget, etc if there is any opportunity. I try to reach out to her daily as we go about our everyday chores. I’ll engage her help in putting the pegs on the laundry when I’m hanging them. If she wants to show me her artwork she had done, I’ll take a good look and praise her good work or give constructive feedback for improvement. With kids, we need to grab these moments. Otherwise, she might not even bother to show us stuff from school next time if I appear to be too distracted to care. We’ll read, play, practice music, do art and craft work, etc together.

We remember moments, not lifetimes. Even the busiest working parents can give the gift of memories to their children that will last a lifetime. Toys get lost and broken but memories last a lifetime. My dad, a taxi driver, was always busy working to support the nine of us. Hence, I cherished and can still remember those family fun times in my childhood when my dad would take the whole family out to the zoo, Haw Par Villa, Chinese Garden, etc during Chinese New Year. We would all pile into his yellow-top taxi. The younger would sit on the elders’ lap and we had a great day together.

Likewise, I always wanted to give Joyce some memories of things that we did as a family that were out of the ordinary daily routine. We would get out every Saturday morning with my parents and youngest sister to Sembawang Park, Botanical Garden, MacRitchie Reservoir, East Coast Park (very often), Labrador Park or shopping centre on rainy days. We would stroll, kick ball, play discus, card game & fly kite. It also imparts the moral value of filial piety to Joyce when suddenly one day, she said to me that she will take care of me and also bring me out when I am old. These thoughts really warmed my heart.

Strategies to overcome guilt and disappointment

Try to focus not on what you’re missing by being at work, but on the benefits that your job can provide for the family: money, self-respect, a better life.

And if you’re enjoying your job, share those feelings with your kids. Talk about the incentives of your work, what good things happened during the day at work and what you enjoy most. Bring them to your workplace and let them meet your colleagues, show them what you do everyday so they can understand this other role you play.

The sacrifices you make now are worthwhile when you realized your children have grown into balanced and healthy individuals who can identify with both your working and parenting selves.

Dilemma of working parents

1 of the hardest things for full time working parents is not "being there" every moment for our children and the feeling of guilt and disappointment. It is also difficult to handle our multiple responsibilities of career, family and relationship perfectly. Hence, I have chosen parenting over my job. I took care of my girl full time until she was 18 months old. I was able to watch her every first steps and captured them instantly such as…...

Why use bamboo as my photo?

It is because I have a 5-yr-old girl, a pre-schooler, who is likened to the bamboo. Bamboo is very resilient, flexible and has a strong foundation. Likewise, I also like my girl to have a strong foundation for a successful future.



Hence, I embarked on a long and soul-enriching journey to nurture Joyce. Started with flashcards to right brain training, arts, chinese speech & drama, music and ballet ......

All these classes did help to build up her self-esteem & confidence.